tears and laughter

Right Wing's Job Training Cuts Shuts Doors To Millions Of Jobs

2011-07-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

Even with an unemployment rate of 9.2%, the United States is unlikely be able to fill a projected 2.8 million science, technology, economy and manufacturing jobs that will be created by 2018. The problem? There will not be enough qualified people.

Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis told a Senate hearing Tuesday that her goal is to enable American workers to get the skills necessary to “support a lifetime career path of productive, middle-class jobs.”

At the third hearing the Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor and Pensions has held to explore the state of the American middle class, Solis reiterated in her testimony the importance of job training programs, particularly to the green energy, advanced manufacturing and health care industries.

Workers in today’s job market need to have the flexibility and adaptability to shifts in skills that today’s competitive job market requires. In order to prepare American workers for the “promising industries of the 21st century economy,” as Solis puts it, we need to rethink our job training programs. Most Americans will no longer participate in the world of education and jobs sequentially, as in studying first and then working. Americans need life-long learning opportunities to “support moves within and between emerging industries.”

Solis noted the Department of Labor’s collaboration with the nation’s community colleges to engage with the industrial and manufacturing industries to ensure that American students earn industry-accepted credentials. Community colleges offer American workers and students career pathways through “…education and training that is aligned with the skill needs of the employers, utilizes curriculum and instructional strategies, leads to the attainment of industry-recognized degree or credentials, and includes supportive services such as childcare and transportation services, and job placement services.”

House Republicans however, are opting to cut these key programs. In April, they passed a budget that slashed nationwide job training programs. Their budgetary actions are at odds with the Republican promise to bring down the unemployment rate.

The Workforce Investment Act of 1998 was passed with bipartisan support, but in one swift partisan move Republicans would do away with federal grants to states to operate more than 3,000 job centers nationwide, which served more than 8 million people in 2010.

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce estimates that between 2008 and 2018, science, technology, economy and manufacturing (STEM) jobs in the U.S. will grow by 17 percent, compared to an estimated growth rate of just under 10 percent for non-STEM jobs. Who do House Republicans think will fill the increasing number of STEM jobs when fewer than one-third of eighth graders in the U.S. are considered proficient in math and science? If nobody is prepared to fill the STEM jobs we have open today, who will fill them in the future?

Key conservative leaders would rather see the federal government turn its back to the problem. Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minn., has suggested that the government “eliminate federal job training programs.” Sen. Tom Coburn, R-Okla., said on MSNBC that he could “whack [job training] from this budget and [have] nobody feel it.”

Fortunately, the job-killing budget bill passed by House Republicans in April was rejected by the Senate. Members of Congress who allow cuts to essential programs that help build a competitive American workforce and economy should be held to task for their irresponsible decisions. American workers should not let the members of Congress who voted for the job-killing budget forget their betrayal of the American worker.

Originally published at http://ourfuture.org/blog-entry/2011073027/right-wings-job-training-cuts-shuts-doors-millions-jobs

The Innovators of America’s Future: DREAM Students

2011-07-05T12:27:00.000-07:00

“I am Undocumented, Unafraid & Unapologetic!” was the phrase that rang in Chicago’s Daley Plaza on March 10th, 2011.

I watched nervously from the crowd as my good friend Alaa Mukahhal, an undocumented Palestinian American, shouted those words from the stage. I was afraid for what might happen to her if she stopped living in the shadows. But, as tears streamed down my face, I know I was proud for having the strength to stand up and fight for her rights.

Alaa’s story kept replaying in my head as I sat in the first official Senate Judiciary Subcommittee on Immigration, Refugees and Border Security hearing on the DREAM Act, on Tuesday June 28th, 2011, chaired by Senator Dick Durbin.

Alaa is officially in deportation proceedings and her only hope to stay in the only home she’s ever known is for the DREAM Act to pass. We’re both hoping she gets that chance soon.

I call Alaa an undocumented Palestinian American because that’s who she is: an American, with a side of Palestinian, who just happens to not have papers documenting her residency here.

She may lack documents that classify her as an American citizen, but that does not invalidate her love and pride for her country. As Alaa puts it:

“Because of our status, I and hundreds of thousands of people like me are not considered American. Why? A passport cannot label me. I am a Muslim, an Arab, a Palestinian, and an American. I am all of these things together, rolled into the person.”

Alaa feels that her story may seem different than the millions of other undocumented youth because she is Arab and Muslim, and thus also dealing with the intense Islamophobia and Xenophobia that’s a sad reality in today’sAmerica. But overall her story is just like so many other young dreamers.

Alaa’s family is Palestinian, but she was born in Kuwait. She has a Jordanian passport, because the Kuwaiti government kicked out its Palestinian population in 1991.

In hopes of finding asylum and a home for their two kids, Alaa’s parents got tourist visas to the United States. Alaa was only seven at the time. A few years later her family’s plea for asylum was rejected by the U.S., but Alaa’s parents didn’t have anywhere to go. In desperation, they remained in the United States.

In the face of the difficulties of affording college without federal loans or being able to work legally, Alaa went on to receive a B.A. in Architecture from the University of Illinois-Champaign Urbana. Despite her many accomplishments and talents, Alaa is unable to get certified as an architect because of her undocumented status.

The debate around the DREAM Act revolves around three key issues: fairness, economic prosperity and national security.

Congress has no choice but to approve the DREAM Act, if it hopes to save the U.S. economy. The testimony during the June 28th hearing made this point, loud and clear. Senator Feinstein of California cited a 2010 UCLA study that indicated 2.1 million undocumented immigrants would contribute $3.6 trillion to the economy over a forty year period; if they were “legalized.” Two million undocumented immigrants who are between the ages of 18 and 34 could eventually become eligible for the DREAM Act.

Education Secretary Andre Duncan testified at the hearing that the Georgetown University’s Center on Education and the Workforce estimates that by 2018 the U.S. will be 3 million college graduates short of market demand, with 2.8 million jobs opening in high‐need fields such as Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM).

Many STEM jobs are currently unfilled, but are desperately needed if the U.S. hopes to retain it competitive and innovative edge in the global economy. These jobs could be filled by many qualified and talented undocumented students. Instead, the U.S. is helping foreign students train at those jobs, go back to their home countries and compete against us. Why not hire a DREAM student like Alaa, an extremely gifted architect and graphic designer, who wants to contribute to America and the American people?

Believe it or not, the DREAM Act would help our national security. The bill’s language states clearly that only individuals with “good moral character” would qualify. Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano testified, “These individuals do not represent a risk to public safety or security. Yet as long as there are no legal options available for them to adjust their immigration status, they will be part of the population subject to immigration enforcement under the law.” The DREAM Act would allow Immigration and Customs Enforcement to focus its limited resources on individuals who actually do pose a security threat.

Senator Cornyn of Texas, who seemed unmoved by the witnesses’ numerous rebuttals to his concerns, wanted clarification of what precisely “good moral character” entails in order to qualify for the DREAM Act. Margaret D. Stock, Counsel to the Firm Lane Powell on immigration and citizenship law, responded to this concern by citing: “The Immigration and Nationality Act 101F, which provides a statutory bar to ‘good moral character’ for certain offenses, and there is a laundry list of those offenses.” Offenses that would normally bar a person from becoming a naturalized citizen would also bar them from using the DREAM Act.

Cornyn also expressed concern over whether the DREAM Act would burden university systems. Duncan’s response was flawless: “Never in my life have I seen a study that shows college educated young people hurt the economy. It is an investment, not an expense.”

Duncan sees DREAM students the same way I see Alaa; they are innovators, the next job creators; and the dreamers who will move America forward.

This blog post was written by me and published first on the Campaign for America's Future blog (ourfuture.org/blog)

France battles to "save" Muslim women from oppression, yet oppress the LGBTQ community.

2011-07-05T05:23:00.000-07:00

"France has explored the possibility but so far has refused to grant marriage rights to homosexual couples." I read this quote yesterday in a Times article on "Why France Lags Behind New York in Recognizing Gay Marriage" and felt an overwhelming sense of frustration with France. It wasn't until I read this article that I realized how much France is a complete hypocritcal and racist country.

I always took the Burqa and Headscarf ban in France as a result of its European sense of secularism. I, for one, am proud to be an American, largely in part to our definition of secularism, which is the seperation of church and state and not the abolishment of the church. I was patient (for the most part) with France because at least they seemed constistent with upholding a belief that no one should be forced to 'cover' their persons and/or identity.

Now I know how wrong I was to let France have their silly secularism debate over the headscarf issue. The French government just really hates the large population of Muslims in their country.

I just HATE when people, beliefs and especially governments are being INCONSISTENT. If the French government is sooooooooo concerned for women's rights, why are they against gay rights? Why are they against gay marriage? INCONSISTENT LOGIC.

If you disagree or have other evidence, I encourage you to discuss your points in the comments. Thank you!

The Front Line Of The Middle-Class Struggle: Helping Others Cope While Coping With A Pay Cut

2011-06-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

A packed Senate hearing room sat quietly, slowly leaning in to catch the grief-stricken testimony of Amanda Greubel. “I’ve sat with parents as they completed the eligibility application [for free or reduced lunch], held their hands as they’ve shed tears of shame,” she explained, “… I’ve held women’s hands through pregnancy terminations because they can’t afford another child now.”

As Greubel's voice broke in her testimony, tears were beginning to form in my eyes. And mine weren’t the only ones.

Greubel is the director of the Family Resource Center at Central Clinton Community Schools in DeWitt, Iowa. She came to Washington on Thursday to testify before a Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions committee hearing entitled, “Stories from the Kitchen Table: How Middle Class Families are Struggling to Make Ends Meet.”

Testifying with Greubel were Jared Bernstein, Senior Fellow at the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities; Susan Sipprelle, multimedia journalist; and Thomas Clements, Founder of Oilfield CNC Machining LLC in Louisiana.

The hearing was the second in a series the committee is holding on the economic struggles facing the middle class. Congress has much to learn from the stories of real middle-class families about where Washington’s priorities should be. Their testimonies offered a clear portrayal of the broken social contract. Witnesses repeated the idea that middle-class families had “worked hard, played by rules and did everything the government told them to do,” and yet they are now so far away from the American Dream the government and society had promised them.

Bernstein provided the “empirical evidence behind the middle-class squeeze” that Greubel so tragically shares with many other middle class families. He displayed a chart based on Bureau of Labor Statistics data that shows median family income and U.S. productivity growth for two time periods: 1947-1979 and 1979-2009. As the chart shows, real median family income did not begin disappearing at the onset of the Great Recession and will not end after the aftereffects of the recession are past. Economic inequality has increased almost exponentially in the last 30 years.

The decline of real middle class income in this country over the last 30 years is intolerable. Greubel’s own family life is an example. She has lost $10,000 in income a year when the state of Iowa, for the 2009-2010 budget, cut education funding mid-year, forcing the school board to reduce her position to three-quarters time. This change has forced the family, as Greubel put it, to go through a “complete financial, emotional and spiritual overhaul.” She has a young son and is expecting another child in December. Her son ends up eating more cereal and ramen noodles than she cares to admit, most of their clothing now comes from Goodwill and the couple spent the last few months catching up on a $1,000 hospital bill when her son became sick. She even thought about terminating her own pregnancy at one point.

Despite all this, Greubel considers her family lucky compared to the families she helps at her job who have to pick between medicine and food, who make anguished decisions to terminate pregnancies they cannot afford, who watch as one or both parents fall into a deep depression after 16 months of unemployment and feelings of worthlessness.

Greubel said her family and others she works with are neither lazy nor uneducated. In fact, both she and her husband earned master degrees, but they are also facing the difficulty of paying off student debt on a tight budget.

Most middle-class families in America are in the same plight, Bernstein said, as middle-class income in the last 30 years has gone up only 3 percent but college fees have gone up 10 percent.

Families like Greubel are facing hard financial and family decisions as politicians in Washington are trying to tear up the social contract previous leaders signed with the middle class. Meanwhile, CEOs of financial corporations bailed out by taxpayers are getting six- and seven-figure salaries.

Washington, I implore you to hear the plights of middle-class families all across America. Listen to the words of Chairman Sen. Tom Harkin’s opening statement, which summed up the economic situation of the middle class:

“…[S]ince the 1970s, that social contract has disappeared. Real family income has barely budged despite our workforce becoming more productive than ever. Unions have deteriorated and defined benefit pensions have all but disappeared. Our manufacturing base has been shipped overseas. Large corporations have put returns for their shareholders and higher pay for their executives over their workers economic security. Income and wealth inequality are at levels not seen since immediately before the Great Depression.”

This post was written by me and originally published on the Campaign for America's Future blog.

Source of Missing Jobs in America Found: Forced Laborers

2011-06-24T07:52:00.000-07:00

With unemployment at a near historic high in the United States, could you imagine any American company bringing in foreign workers to work for them below the minimum wage and with no benefits? Most people would say no. But can you imagine those same Americans forcing foreign workers to stay here, with no pay, and constant abuse? That is actually happening in this country today.

Forced labor is a real phenomenon in the United States agriculture business. Without awareness and investigation into where our supplies come from and who businesses are hiring, the American people become unwitting complicit supporters of labor trafficking

Monday June 13th, in anticipation of the reauthorization of the Trafficking Victims Protection Act of 2000 (TVPA), U.S. Rep. Chris Smith (NJ-04) held a Senate committee hearing and panel discussion to review the success and needed improvements of the law. Smith is chairman of the House congressional panel that oversees international human rights and co-chairman of the Congressional Human Trafficking Caucus. Several leaders in the fight against human trafficking were invited to testify: the main witness, Ambassador Luis CdeBaca, of the Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons, U.S. State Department; Deborah Cundy, Vice President of Carlson Companies; Chai Ling, founder of All Girls Allowed; Nancy Rivard, President and founder of Airline Ambassadors International; Philip Kowalcyzk, President of The Body Shop; Kevin Bales, co-founder and President, Free the Slaves, and; David Abramowitz of Humanity United.

During the testimony of Ambassador CdeBaca, Smith asked a pointed question about labor trafficking in the United States. He inquired if the elimination of broker fees would help stop labor trafficking. Brokers, according the Verité Initiative, are “intermediaries who facilitate employment for migrant workers,” often in legal methods. However, research by the Verité Initiative shows that brokerage fees can “range from USD 3,000-27,000 among workers coming in legally on H-2A and H-2B guest worker visas.” In 2008, 173,103 guest workers were admitted on H-2A visas, which are for agricultural work. The main states receiving these workers were: Arkansas; California; Louisiana; Florida; Georgia; Kentucky; New York and; North Carolina. The other main industry for guest workers who came on the H-2B non-agricultural visa is Forestry. 104,618 H-2B visas were granted in 2008.

Even without trafficking, the guest worker visas do not provide “adequate protections for work, health, and housing; legalizing the payment of sub-minimum wages; and – because workers are, for practical purposes, bound to work for one or more employers – entrapping workers at specified work sites for the duration of their stay in the United States”

Ambassador CdeBaca testified that eliminating broker fees from the guest worker visa process is one of the many steps the United States government can take to stop the enslavement of foreign workers in the United States. He explained how the brokers will often confiscate the passport of the worker until they pay of their travel and brokerage debt, leading to workers essentially renting themselves out to their employers.

At this point we really have to ask ourselves how much of the food that ends up in our house have been planted and/or picked by made by forced laborers, even child slaves in the United States. 50 percent of transnational trafficking victims are children. It’s bad enough American workers are competing with foreign adult workers abroad that corporations are hiring, but now we are competing with child slaves within the United States! It’s horrific on every conceivable level.

CNN reported on June 13th that a woman in Georgia was convicted of trafficking two Nigerian girls as labor slaves in her house, where she regularly abused them. The girls were 17 and 20 and had been brought to the United States on fake US passports that the convicted women had bought for them. The girls were never paid for their years of work, forced to be dependent on their trafficker for all their basic needs, and were given spoiled food to eat.

Just last month, the US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission reported that it filed lawsuits against “a labor broker in California, farms in Hawaii and Washington, and a marine services company in Mississippi and Texas [that] subjected foreign workers to severe abuse and discrimination after they were trafficked into this country.”

The Trafficking Victims Protection Act of 2000 was a historic victory for human rights in America. However, is not strong enough to protect innocents from becoming victims of forced labor and abuse. With 27 million people in forced labor worldwide, Washington needs to act fast to reauthorize TVPA with more statues to prevent labor trafficking in the United States. If the moral issue is not enough to motivate Washington into action, perhaps the estimated 14,500 - 17,500 foreign nationals trafficked into the United States every year that are essentially replacing American workers in our own country, will motivate the deficit yelling Congress into action.

Smith, the prime sponsor for the Victims of Trafficking and Violence Protection Act of 2000, leads his fellow Congressmen in action but we need more leaders rising to the occasion in Congress.

Embracing a Holistic And Progressive Approach To Ending Poverty

2011-06-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

Don’t you just love it when a Senator nails the issue of poverty in American with a single sentence? That is just what Senator Ben Cardin (D-MD) did last Thursday at the Center for American Progress Action Fund’s when he said: “The federal government is the only entity to fight poverty in America. We need to do it because we can do it and we’re the only ones who can do it effectively.”

Senator Cardin was the keynote speaker at a CAPAF event on “Strengthening Families: Developing a Progressive Agenda that Promotes Family Stability and Cuts Poverty.” The event also included a panel discussion that was made up of Racquel S. Russell, Special Assistant to the President for Mobility and Opportunity, White House Domestic Policy Council; Lisalyn Jacobs, Vice President for Government Relations, Legal Momentum, and; Aisha Moodie-Mills, Advisor, LGBT Policy and Racial Justice, Center for American Progress.

Senator Cardin asked the audience what it will take for us to get involved in fighting poverty, if not the moral imperative. The answer: the economic imperative to fight poverty that is increasing everyday. The Senator quoted a recent Georgetown study that claims poverty costs the United States $500 billion a year. But the real question behind that is who is to blame: low-income families or the lack of progressive programs to fight poverty from a holistic approach?

I often hear the argument that the government should stop bailing out low-income families who ‘don’t work hard enough with all the help the government gives them.’ The reality though is what Lisa Jacobs of Legal Momentum said her organization determined: the “combined income from all the poverty support programs is not enough to uplift the families out of poverty.”

Jacobs iterated the need for the federal government to take back state programs, many of which are so regressive that they keep putting up obstacles to prevent people from even coming in through the door. Racquel Russell joined in by explaining how to bring low-income families to the middle class we need a holistic approach, where we look at transportation, childcare, family formation, job opportunities, job training, education, and nutrition for starters.

We must protect the safety net programs that allow low-income families to work. Our budget deficit, as Senator Cardon pointed out, came from tax cuts for the wealthy in 2001 and 2003, the money we borrowed for two wars, and reckless gambling on Wall Street that the government allowed. The deficit did not come from poverty programs or middle class families so “when we look to fix the problem, let us not start and end with middle class families.”

In order to have a talk about fixing poverty in the United States we need:

1. A real conversation about where GOOD jobs will come from.
2. To understand what is really involved in creating strong communities
3. A honest conversation about family formation (policies should reflect the diversity of family structures in America)

This is where the conversation to end poverty begins.

This piece was written by me and originally published at the Campaign for America's future blog.

The Truth Behind Washington’s Minimum Wage Glass Ceiling

2011-06-08T10:56:00.000-07:00

I wrote this for The Campaign for America's Future blog:

Washington conservative elites seem to be taking it for granted that raising the minimum wage in a recession will destroy the already fragile job market. However, what proof do we have that this is true?

New research being conducted by prominent economists is yielding data that is proving this Washington line completely wrong. In fact, their results are showing that raising the minimum wages is not only good economics, but also good politics. Not only does a greater minimum wage not kill jobs, but it is in fact the first step to a recovery.

A panel discussion on this new research was held today by the Center for American Progress in conjunction with the National Employment Law Project. The guest panels were: Celinda Lake, President, Lake Research Partners; Michael Reich, Professor of Economics and Director of the Institute for Research on Labor and Employment, University of California, Berkeley; Sylvia Allegretto, Deputy Chair of the Center on Wage and Employment Dynamics, University of California, Berkeley; and Heidi Shierholz, Economist, Economic Policy Institute.

Each panelist presented their research on the effects of raising the minimum wage in America, with each concluding that minimum wage increases do not necessarily have a negative effect on the job market, and some studies show that they can help expand the job market.

Michael Reich’s research used a fix effect model to generalize local case studies where the minimum wage was increased on only one side of bordering counties and states. Among his findings were the positive effects of raising minimum wage not only on the employee, but also the employer: “Turnover goes way down with the minimum wage increase. This means when employees stay long, they become more experienced and employers save turnover costs.”

Past research may have blinded our view of of minimum wage hikes because studies showed a slight negative effect on the economy after a minimum wage increase, presumably as a result of raising minimum wages. Sylvia Allegretto’s research used localized statistics to take into account different factors that might affect the job market besides raising minimum wages. For example, in one case study she found that “the negative effect witnessed three years after minimum wage changes is the same as two years before minimum wage changes.” In light of this, it pays to not forget: correlation does not mean causation.

Bringing the current economic situation into context, Allegretto, whose research covered three recession periods, explained that there is no data showing that raising minimum wages in a recession negatively affects the economy and the job market. She gave an example of how we can sometimes be deceived by unexplained statistics:

“We see a lot, especially now, when students are graduating, in high school and college, and we are constantly saying everyday in the media that “Oh well the reason these young folks cannot get jobs is because of the minimum wages. Well, the unemployment rate of those with a BA or more is recently been close to all-time levels but no one would say that those educated folks are looking for a minimum wage job.”

Whatever economic stimulus some regions of the country experienced after the recent set of minimum wage increases came from the employees, not the employers. Conservatives in Washington today are pushing on us erroneous statements that giving corporations more tax breaks will create jobs. However, there is no evidence that corporations will spend the extra money they get to create an economic stimulus. We know that most businesses’ financials today are back to pre-recession levels, yet the unemployment rate is still at a historic high. This is because corporations are not hiring with their money; they are sending it straight to CEO bonuses.

Celinda Lakes’ recent opinion research on the minimum wage shows that raising the minimum wage is broadly supported by the public. In a fall 2010 nationwide poll, “67% of Americans supported raising the minimum wage to the critical threshold of $10 an hour.” In individual states where the issue was polled during this election cycle the numbers also show public support for raising the minimum wage. For example, in Maryland, where almost two-thirds of voters say the economy is not in good shape, 79% favor raising the minimum wage.

The American people understand that putting more money in their pocket will go straight back into the economy and putting money into corporations will only pad the packets of their executives. Members of Congress now need to listen to common sense and the views of the American people and put raising the federal minimum wage on the table.

Take The Blindfold Off The Tax Debate

2011-06-06T15:58:00.001-07:00

(my first professional blog post)

There’s been a great deal of talk about tax reform recently. However, much of it has been, as Representative Sander Levin, D-Mich., put it on Friday, “discussed only in glittering generalities” that distort reality.

At a time when the middle class is saddled with an economic recession and a recovery that is slow to reach them, Republicans like Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan are backing budget proposals that in the name of deficit reduction award tax breaks to the wealthy while cutting services vital to the middle class. Americans need a progressive discussion of tax reform that defends the middle class and responsibly reduces the federal deficit.

That discussion happened at the Center for American Progress Action Fund, where Rep. Sander Levin gave a talk Friday on “The Implications and Opportunities of the Current Tax Reform Debate.”

Levin declared the need for a real tax reform discussion with specific and realistic goals. In light of Congress’s inability to talk about taxes, he proposed three guiding principles for the tax reform debate: “Tax reform should protect working families; it should encourage economic growth and job creation in the United States; and it should be fiscally responsible.”

There is an obvious need to address redundancies and complexity in the tax system to make our tax policy more effective. However, the House Republican approach of lowering the top tax rate to 25 percent for individuals and corporations, with no thought to who would make the sacrifices as a result, is astoundingly blind. It is, as Levin put it, “the equivalent of putting a blindfold on, spinning around three times, and picking a number. It’s time to take the blindfold off. It’s time to understand clearly what that would mean for working families.”

Working families and middle-class America should be the focus of the tax reform debate and Levin’s talk championed this ideal. It is disheartening to hear some members of Congress call for the elimination of all tax credits and deductions, as the White House bipartisan fiscal commission recommended, when the overwhelming majority of the beneficiaries of those tax benefits are lower- to middle-income families. For example, in 2009, all of the people receiving the Earned Income Tax Credit, 90 percent of the people receiving the child tax credit and 81 percent of education credit beneficiaries are in households that make less than $100,000 a year.

Finally, we need to discuss raising revenues as we talk about deficit reduction. Republicans refuse to even broach that topic, even though during the only period of time since World War II that we have balanced our nation’s budget, the federal government’s revenues averaged 20 percent of gross domestic product. Compare this to 2010, when federal revenues were at 14.9 percent of GDP, close to historic lows.

Asked how Democrats would convince Republicans to discuss federal revenues, Levin said, “We face an unavoidable debate that may be an unavoidable collision and our challenge is to face that collision productively.”

Members of Congress should rise to Levin’s call to a real tax reform debate, face the inevitable collision with congressional conservatives and champion the economic rights of middle-class and working families.

This blog was first published on the Campaign for America's Future blog. I am an intern at CAF.

First Chicago Update

2010-08-27T08:56:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,

So, I haven’t really maintained the blog in awhile but since I’m far away in Chicago, I thought I’d share my thoughts so you all won’t forget me. I have some general thoughts about my move to Chicago and my next blog post will be about my current fellowship- Get Out the Vote.

Sooooo, first of all, this has been huge for me. I basically uprooted myself and moved halfway across the country on my own, in hopes for better opportunities in a bigger city that has a larger Arab and Muslim population. Often times I feel that God is testing me with the obstacles that get thrown in my way, but thankfully (Alhamdulillah) these obstacles have only made me closer to Allah as I try to find his blessings in each hardship. So, in this regard, I am happy about my move to Chicago. It has really helped me appreciate God more and brought me so much closer to feeling his presence, Alhamdulillah.

On for a little rant about Chicago:
1. The drivers are crazy. They drive over MEDIANS in the road!
2. Bridgeview, Il and the surrounding villages are soooooo Arabville. And being surrounded by Syrians and Palestinians (in the thousands) makes me feel like I’m somehow in the Middle East. This hilariously enough helps pacify my inner drive to travel to the Middle East. Arab food is everywhere 
3. The trees…are…no where to be seen in the suburbs. Sigh, I miss my deciduous forest. Oh NC.
4. The streets are basically all a grid so it should mean that it’s easy to get around, but it’s not. The road will randomly end and then pick up a couple blocks later. Also, I still haven’t figured out how people know which way is S, N, E, W…. Directions, please just tell me to go left or right. See, in downtown (specifically the loop) I just use the trains or the cta. However, in the suburbs it’s all driving so I tend to get lost a fair bit. Thank God for my GPS in my iPhone.
5. WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I’M IN HIGH-SCHOOL??!!

Ok, the rant is over. Alhamdulillah.

My apartment is cool and right in the heart of UIC’s campus. I room with three other really friendly and nice Muslim girls so that makes me really happy. Alhamdulillah, I feel really comfortable in my place. Also, my bed is on a loft…like built into the wall…that just makes me happy.

I can’t for more updates. Next update: Why some Muslims don’t vote and why ALL Muslims SHOULD vote

blasphemous prayer

2010-05-19T20:32:00.000-07:00

when my hand

prints prayers
as pleas that they
perhaps
might propagate
pious actions,

it poetically
preaches blasphemy
as pretentiously guessing
god’s will.

tissue poems

2010-05-19T20:31:00.000-07:00

shelves of fresh journals,
binding blank pages, they
signify scholarly space.

hands in jacket pocket
unfold a forgotten napkin,
and against my palm,

words flourished.

Sakeena (The beginning to a short story)

2010-04-11T00:56:00.000-07:00

The clear voice of the Mu’athin reciting the morning’s call to prayer woke her from her dreamless sleep. Though the clock on the wall read 5:30 am, Sakina did not mind being awoken. She hardly liked to sleep. She felt it killing her every time her mind drifted out of consciousness. It was the wasted time she couldn’t stand. The thought of six to eight hours of lying and doing nothing ate at her every time she thought of it.

Softly Sakina rose from her bed and padded on the cold tiles to the bathroom. She was very careful as to not let the door creak as she opened it. Nobody else would be awake right now and she didn’t want to change that status quo. The air was brisk to her face as she stepped into the courtyard. Stars no longer visible, Sakina could sense the colors of morning rising in the sky. She hurried to the bathroom. Normally her wooden sandals would ring clearly against the tile floors. Without the sandals, she felt a jolt of coldness as her foot descended the cold marble.

She eagerly washed the sleep from her face and casually brushed her hair. The mirror above the sink was cracked, but no one bothered to replace it. Hands resting on the edges of the sink, Sakina raised her head to face the reflection in front of her. Two dark brown eyes stared back at her. They fit nicely on her round face, companioning her average nose that neither attracted insults nor complements. Her long brown hair made up for what her face couldn’t accomplish. It was gracefully long and straight. Her hair flowing by her side, glittering in the darkness of the room, silkily brushing against her shoulders and back, she seemed to walk right out of an Arabian nights tale. It was strange how her hair awed those who saw it fluttering in the air as she went about her daily routine.

Though she could not have been gone for more than a few minutes, when she came out of the bathroom, the air was already filled with the smell of the emerging morning. The air was as if preparing for the energy of the day ahead. Already the air was heating up, preparing the inhabitants for blazing heat that would soon be fully raised in the sky, against a backdrop of clear, cool, blue.

Sensing that the sun was on the edge of rising, Sakina scurried to say her morning prayers.

"In the name of God the most beneficent to most merciful. Praise be to God, Lord of the Heavens. The Beneficent. The Merciful. Lord of the day of Judgment. It is you we worship. You whom we ask in our time of need. Guide us on the straight path. The path of those whom you have guided, not those whom have gone astray. Amen."

In another part of the house Sakina’s brother Hamid was already awake. In fact, he had not slept that night. He felt exhausted. He spent the night reviewing his life. His every moments of life. He remembered the time he was eight and he fell down the stairs and broke his arm. He was upset that he couldn’t play with the boys in the alley. His mother, Amina, sensed his distraught. She would cleverly come up with plans to entertain him, without him realizing that he was playing with his mother. She would casually position herself near him while going up her chores.

The sound of water splashing in the early morning brought one such memory to mind. It was a Friday morning, a holiday for prayer. All of Hamid’s friends were gathered to play ball in the alley and Hamid was sitting in the courtyard sulking. His mother was pouring water on the tiled courtyard and mopping the floor. She casually glanced at him sitting in the corner under the fig tree that was already growing baby figs. Everywhere the tiny tree was spotted with little greenish-purple dots. Hamid played with them, running his fingers across the pear-shaped fruit, giving a bruised look to the already multi-colored plant. His eyes drifted to the wall and his rubbing continued, apparently unaware of the abuse he was suffering the tiny fruit to.

“Did you know that this house is over hundreds of years old, ya Hamid?”

He looked up, and Amina jumped in with just the right words to get him hooked in on the game.

“The house used to be one of the many houses of the a great Amir, a very rich prince. He loved to travel and visit different cities so much that he had a house in every great city. Alexandria, Damascus, Baghdad, Jerusalem, Istanbul, Paris, Rome, Mekkah, Madina, oh the list could go on and on.”

Hamid let go of the figs in an amazed fit and quickly sat upright.
“But Ummi, how could he afford so many houses? The Mukhtar is rich and all he owns are a house in the city, one in the country where the grapes grow, and an olive farm on the outskirts of the city.”

Amina frowned a bit, “How do you know so much about the Mukhtar, Hamid?”
“I heard Amto Fatimah and Amto Sarah talking about it.”
“You shouldn’t be listening to old women talk ya Hamid. Such a young and strong boy like you should be having fun with your friends.”
Realizing her frown, Amina smiled and returned to her story.
“This Amir, he was very rich but he didn’t trust his friends or family to not try to steal his money. So he hid his money in all his houses in places that no one would find it. But one day the great Amir fell very ill and couldn’t get up, couldn’t move, even talk. His family and friends tried to take care of him but they ran out of money. They looked everywhere for the great Amir’s money but they never found it.”
“Never?”
“Never”
“Ummi?”
“Na’am habbibi”
“Do you think the Amir’s money is hidden somewhere in this house?” Hamid whispered, the adventure already gleaming in his eyes.
“Maybe. Who knows?” was all the reply Amina gave before walking off to refill her bucket of water.

Hamid remembered how that story kept him captivated for a week. He recruited his sister to help him search for the Amir’s great treasure. Sakina was only glad to follow her older brother. She loved and emulated him as any younger sister did her elder brother.

“Sakina,” Hamid mouthed and turned his head to the window. He knew her to be the source of splashing water that he heard. She was always up early, eager for the day, for life. She somehow found enjoy in every aspect of life, even in the darkest places that Hamid was afraid to go, for fear of losing himself in the evils of the darkness.

Of course he loved her. How could he not? How could anyone not? She brought wonder and happiness to his life and everyone’s life she touched. But it was that same wonder and happiness that Hamid could not find on his own that made him drifted further and further away from his sister. It was the reason he decided to go to a university in a different city. He needed to where he could find joy on his own. But it was his inability to see the joy behind an old life dying and in a new life born that lead him to meet Sheikh Ahmed Al-Jowharee and his circle of brothers.

Again he wondered as he had been wondering all night, how would Sakina find joy in what he was about to do? How could he stand to put her through the turmoil and onslaught that would follow? Or for that matter his mother? His father?
His thoughts continued to return to Sakina as he rose to say his morning prayers. Did she have the strength to pull through, the delicate flower she was? His faith in her would have to be strong.

Thesis, you are done!

2010-04-11T00:51:00.000-07:00

I defended my thesis last Monday...and I am done!!! weeeeeeeeee

I shall try and find a way to post it up here for you all to read.

<3

fly

2010-03-01T08:28:00.000-08:00

(just a fun poem i wrote awhile ago)

winds sweetly push away woes,
a gentle air that raises my ecstatics
into beating charismatics.

my stubborn stump
claims it impossible for me to rise,
my open mind
never accepted this compromise.

straining my mental wings,
to eternal blue they cling.

oh how they dash without pause!
soaring without flaws!

escaping hand touches,
and tree clutches!

whose snatches
echo of prison door latches...

i whisper into the winds in hopes
they will break through
these silent slopes.

'Empathy' or 'The Pain I Hide'

2010-03-01T08:13:00.000-08:00

I know I have no right to cry
when your sorrow stories
overfill my crumbled heart
but though you wish
to live the life I do
you know not the pain I hide,

not mine,
but a secret collection of
helpless aches
from the years of your complaints
that I hear to ease your voice
then leave
never able to change the sadness
in your heart

what can i say to myself
when the wrongs you face
bruise your sanity
but being forced
to apathy
everyday
tears the very binding of my soul

if I cry tonight
it is only
for every injustice
that breaks this world.

Poem against Domestic Violence

2009-11-29T17:42:00.001-08:00

Silent.
be, be silent.
silent like you had to be when he held you down, covered your mouth and promised he’d rip you to pieces if you weren’t silent.
silent like you had to be so your kids would never know the cuts and bruises were from their father.
silent because he had broken your jaw.
silent because you didn’t know English.
silent because the cops might not believe you, might take your kids away, make a scandal of your name.
sister, be silent!
don’t tell anyone a black man raped you, do not sell out your race, instead sacrifice your body. You are insignificant.
sisters stay silent about an Arab man hurting them because she fears it will garner more support for wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.
hush girl,
don’t ever say a man touched you, you don’t want to be broken goods, do you?

The Girl can’t talk anyway,
Girl has forgotten how to speak,
She, cannot see past the locked door,
She cannot hear us tonight
Girl cannot see hope in front of her because she has to be looking over her should incase he attacks.

Sometimes he attacks silently but it always ends in a thud,
her back thrown on the bed
her head knocked against the wall,
her small children slapped away.

He,
He is not silent.
He yells, he orders, he tells you he will break your face and then he does it.
He is not silent.
his grunts and sounds of pleasure echo in her mind.
his threats pound behind her eyes.
no, he is not silent even when he is gone.
His presence is enough, it sets off a thousand alarms in her head and never goes away,
because he never really leaves.
he is waiting outside her work, walks her to and from class so she won’t think of talking, drives around the neighborhood to make sure she never leaves.
This,
This is what keeps a sister silent.

And we,
we help muffle her silence.

Her pain does not start with the man.
it starts with how we do not educate against aggression.
with how we begin every abuse story with ‘why did she stay?’
with how we never asked how he became a monster
with how we don’t take preventative measures to
stop violence against women and children.
with how we condone violence as a normal, male quality.

with how we never act until a sister speaks so loud it blows the blinders on our eyes and ears.

But here,
here you see the women tonight,
you have heard stories that should make you vomit from the very pit of your stomach.

Sisters, do not be silent tonight, or any night.
The air around you is pure,
fill your lungs with the support you see tonight-
give life to the words you never thought you could say.

Men, think of how you can hold each other accountable,
think of how you can save the future of your brothers from becoming violent men.

Sing, sing now,
Sing together and let our voices be heard not only by the heavens but by every people on this earth until the day we see violence no more.

Fighting Sex Trafficking in Syria

2009-11-07T13:03:00.001-08:00

News update : Syria attempts to combat the rise of sex trafficking

Read the article here: http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2009/09/08/syria-attempts-to-combat-the-rise-of-human-trafficking/)

A correspondent for Anderson Copper on CNN reports on the legislation Syrian lawmakers are working on to fight international and domestic sex trafficking in their country. As the article reports, "if passed, it will be the first law of its kind in the Middle East."

For a country that America hates, way to go Syria!

However,
I would like to point that each year 15-20,000 women and children are trafficking into the US and 100,000-300,000 are domestically trafficked within the US.

Yeah, it's a problem here. Don't even get me started on All Girls Staff right here on Franklin Street (formally University Massage but they had to change their name because they don't have a massage license. Can we say shady??). There have been reports not only of sex work, but of trafficked women from another "massage place" in Orange country, The Gentlemen's Club. And they have reports of trafficking women from abroad. Too bad our police don't want to get involved in this mess so they continuously refuse to investigate the business. Epic fail on public safety guys.

The issue at hand here is the framework in which sex work and sex trafficking is discussed. A lot of ignorant people will try to argue that sex workers in general choose their work and so should be held responsible. This is a problem because many Countries, even here in NC, don't legally differentiate between sex workers and sex workers who were trafficked. Can women who are trafficked give consent?

The answer is no. The UN definition is that for an adult victim, issues of consent are irrelevant if any threat to the victim is involved. Most sex workers are threatened, beaten and raped by their "pimps" and customers. And sex workers who are trafficked never receive a cent for their "work;" it all goes to their "pimp."

Another issue in the framework is the attention paid to this problem. There often isn't much context for the power hierarchies that cause these women to be in these situations in the first place. Most articles that discuss sex-trafficking (of which there are few) focus on its "criminal" activity or legislation (such as the article i'm giving you above). Most articles don't address global issues or lack of women's rights as frameworks for understanding why sex trafficking exists.

Keep your eyes peeled for news of this in the media. I put my money that you won't hear a thing....

stop human trafficking

2009-11-01T21:08:00.000-08:00

the only way to live is to love and lose

2009-10-06T10:36:00.000-07:00

love is a bouncy temptation to rush ahead:
the glee of planning a life in comfort and stability,
a reassurance against the threat of loneliness-
holden breaths fuel happiness
by a loss of awareness,
when all becomes dizzy.
it is never slowing down to realize
the disasters that could befall
you and your lover.
becuase true love conquers all, doesn't it?

love fails when breathing begins again:
reality restored with unprecedented persistence,
exhaustion sets in after so many sleepless nights-
life slows down but there still is hope.

love can be revived with a robust kick:
it only takes a tickle to make the brain giggle,
the right strokes can bring back a passion so old,
but only if the atmosphere began right,
only if you understood what i love you
would do to your soul,
only if you had a lesson beforehand
and let your failure lead to perfection.

let me put on my scarf

2009-07-21T05:28:00.000-07:00

she gathered herself for an
odd, normal ritual,

ducking under a twisted teal scarf,
or perhaps,
raising green’s careful spread,

she intricately pins
covered freedom
-exactly three feet squared-

reaching in delicate tucks
wrapped by whirling,
she sighs in the day’s face
that will tan her liberty
into a shield.

originally planned as
a self test of her control,
forcing the world along
her eye-line,
she would fold and arrange
their vision
in rainbows.

but she took this morning to
dress,
cover,
breathe,
remembering the private joys
of inner peace

"If you open your head"

2009-07-10T05:23:00.000-07:00

[Spoiler: This will be a vent post.]

"If you open your head." That is how the Turkish security government choose to tell me that I could not enter Marmara University's main campus with my scarf on.

First of all, I didn't want to mention this before dear security guard but I am a distinguished student at a top university and probably 10xs smarter than you. So how about YOU OPEN your mind and realize that you are demanding me to TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES, a DIRECT violation of HUMAN RIGHTS!

How dare you, how dare anyone tell me, nay, force me to take off an item of clothing? I am in control of my body. I am. I am. NOT YOU. I will not let you touch me. I will not even let you see my skin or hair because it is MY BODY and I do not TRUST you so why would I expose myself to you?? Your implication that you are in control of my body is the underlining thought of every perpetrator in every domestic and sexual abuse case there is and brings to mind many disturbing feelings.

It's a good thing it took me 40 minutes to walk to my apartment from the university in the sweltering sun because now I am putting my energy into writing about you and not planning on running back over there and beating the crap out of you.

I don't care for your reasons, NONE OF THEM MAKE SENSE. And I will not give up my rights because you think a few students "MIGHT" feel pressure. Geez mr. security guard, so many men who don't wear shirts feel pressured by you to wear a shirt so how about YOU take OFF your shirt so they there wont be a "POSSIBILITY" that they are pressured. How does that sound?

Yes, we can, Obama? Sí, se puede, Obama? D you now that the basic human rights of one of YOUR CITIZENS was VIOLATED today??
I never been one to praise the US and put down other countries but God am I pleased with American secularism right now. Proud that my university does not force me undress to attend classes.

Times like this I wish I already had my law degree and could go PROSECUTE THE HELL out of some people. Oh, Turkish Government, just you wait. I'm coming for you!

The Headscarf Ban in Turkey

2009-07-04T07:29:00.000-07:00

"Advocating freedom and equality for women cannot mean depriving them of the chance to decide on their future"
-Dissenting opinion of Judge Tulkens in the case of Leyla Sahin vs. Turkey

So far I have not really talked about the research I am doing here in Istanbul, but as I just officially received IRB approval, let me tell you all about it. I'm researching the experiences of Muslim women in Turkey who wear headscarves. I picked this topic in light of Turkey's headscarf ban. On February 23rd 1998, Turkish courts banned the presence of headscarfed women who work in the public sector. The ban applies to civil service, educational and political institutions. Lawyers, journalists, judges, teachers who failed to uncover their heads were dismissed from their jobs. Life for women who wear scarves was made in harder when private institutions expanded the ban. Many women soon found themselves kicked out on the street without a job if they refused to uncover their hair. Their health was in danger because they lost their insurance and pension plans. Hospitals could even refuse to admit patients who covered or whose relatives covered. The doors of education were soon closed on thousands of women all over Turkey. Universities decreed that covered women would not be admitted to classes and that any class a covered women entered would be immediately cancelled, as if they were a germ that needed to be kept in isolation.

As a Muslim woman who decided she wanted to cover her hair, along with her body, so that she would be in control over her own body, I was devastated when I found this out. The reactions of many covered women I have met here are heartbreaking. Many were unable to receive higher education, even when the score on their placement exams demanded it. Those who could afford it when abroad for their degrees. Others tried as many tactics as they could, from hats to wigs, hoping for some semblance of the control they once had over their bodies. One graduate student I talked to said that her government has left her broken.

I started my research by getting in touch with a great organization called AK-DER (Turkish acronym for WOMEN’S RIGHTS ASSOCIATION AGAINST DISCRIMINATION), an NGO in Special Consultative Status with the Economic and Social Council of the United Nations. The organization was founded in 1999 by women whose education rights were taken by the headscarf ban. In their own words their goals are "to improve especially women’s generally human rights, fighting for to end all sort of discrimination, educating its members on women’s rights, improving the degree of consciousness, solidarity and experience sharing among its members to provide legal, material and moral help to individuals whose rights are violated." They are an incredible grassroots organization with very active and smart women. Their work expands beyond the headscarf as they also fight against domestic violence, child abuse, gender discrimination and other women's rights related issues. I also met with their lawyer and am helping to edit the English translation of her book on a big case on the headscarf ban that went all the way up to the European Court of Human Rights. The case is highly controversial and the judgement is problematic. This blogger has done a very good job explaining the case. The whole case stands on 'the perceived threat to the structure and survival of the Turkish Republic as a whole.'

I spend my days finding women to fill out surveys since I don't know Turkish and therefore cannot interview them. I have been very grateful with how many helpful students and professors I have met. This past week I have gone to Marmara University twice trying to find women I could talk to. The case of Marmara University is interesting because the headscarf ban applies to them but their students have found a unique way around it. Unlike many students at Istanbul University who hide their hair under a hat and wear turtlenecks, these women wear hats on top of their scarves.

The logic is that with the hat, the scarf is no longer a religious symbol, instead it is a fashion statement. I found the whole situation ridiculous and felt humuliated when I had to wear this woolen hat on a 89 degrees hot, humid, deadly Istanbul day. Many of you who know me know that I like to keep up with "hijabi fashion" and enjoy styling my outfit with cute hats on top. But that is in the winter!

So what's the purpose or justification of the ban? To protect Turkeys secularism, gender equality, and the fear of religious fanaticism taking over the government. The secularism in Turkey's constitution resembles the French policy of forbidding religious symbols in public. The problem with justifying the ban with the need to protect gender equality is that the ban doesn't. If these women are not allowed to attend university, then they cannot seek higher learning nor find a high paying job. Lack of education and financial support keeps them dependent on their husbands or family, thus creating greater gender inequality. Many men do not oppose the ban because they use this as an excuse to keep their women at home, instead of allowing them access to society as gender equality demands.

There is also the argument that the presence of covered women will put pressure on other women who do not wear it. Frankly, there is no proof or evidence of this other than a paranoid fear of shari'a taking over. I live in the United States where virtually everyone around does not wear the headscarf but I would never suggest that they all wear so I will not feel pressured to take it off. What I have seen a lot of in this city is great animosity in certain parts of Istanbul towards the headscarf. In the States most people stare at me because they might never have seen a hijabi woman, and there is only ignorance, not hate in their stares. Here though, I feel like a second class citizen in the surreal "residential modern" parts of the city with the way people look at me.

In conclusion, in my humble opinion, the headscarf ban is ridiculous.

spoken word poem in the first stages

2009-06-30T01:20:00.000-07:00

*written in a cafe while waiting for my friend to take pictures of the Hagia Sophia*

The streets of Istanbul are spice and dust. I bite into spicy June days so fiery, sweat pours and drips from every pore on my body, walk under the ever present Ottoman sun, and like every land they conquered, my skin submits and finds itself sheltered under the shade of an inviting mosque, whose shadows carry the dust of an empire reclaiming its grandest creations as a national wind threatens to sweep it away to the highest bidder.

The streets of Istanbul are shoulders and tears, owners of pain and the strength to recover, hills made to bear reigns of debris and promises of its leaders to educates the nation, letting its citizens stand on the shoulders of their forebear but holding back women in scarves whose tears flood the valleys between jobs and universities and so they float on dreams of forbidden empowerment.

The streets of Istanbul are love and smoke, a chase of money, tours, history and religion when puffs of nargeelah make the beloved seem so close but never clear, a false love, like the lives built under a constitution's abstract terms of secularism and nationalism, which no one know what it was really quite good for because now modernity means a certain national history and now the multiculturalism of the ages exists only in name.

watch the streets of istanbul.

Alone in Istanbul: Day 1

2009-06-20T02:19:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh. Ok, so my first day on my own without Omid or the study group. Now is the time to post on the blog. So I will be updating pretty frequently, now that I have a lot more free time and space. :)

After everyone left in the study group left in the morning, I crashed on my bed. Somehow though, I managed to force myself out of bed at 8 am to shower and eat breakfast with Naomi and Magdalena. When I came back to finish packing the last things in my room, I realized I had overestimated the capacity of my book-bag and underestimated how much stuff I still had in my room. Oh boy. I ended up though borrowing a computer bag from Naomi. Around 10:30 am Naomi and I checked out and headed down to Adam's carpet shop, where I had suggested we drop our book-bags off during the day. The bags were really heavy but somehow I beasted it and carried two bags, mine on the front and hers on the back for that 40 minute walk.

look how sweaty we are

Adam served us soda (aka Coke) which was really nice. But then he kept going on and on about his fiance. The dude is in love. Seriously. It was really cute but was getting to be too much so Naomi and I head out. We stop by the Gulhane park to read and relax. I ate the cucumbers, olives and bread that I stole from the Oren Hotel that morning and go through some of my LSAT book and took a nap. I WAS EXHAUSTED. The nap was needed but when I woke up I felt cold and a little disoriented. As I got up to walk in the sun a hijabi girl asked me a question. Anyway, we got to talking and it turns out that she goes to Istanbul Uni AND wears a scarf. She just wears a hat and high collar when she goes. I got her email and phone number so I can give her my surveys and talk to her more. Isn't that an awesome coincidence? Actually, I don't believe in coincidences. This was God's way of speaking to me. I am living by the seat of my pants and trusting God with my endeavors.

After that, Naomi wanted to buy some dried fruit from the spice bazar and I wanted to eat all their free samples. It turned out very succesfull :) Afterward we went to a wonderful Cafe in what used to be an old hamam. We sat harem style with pillows. The cafe was a little dark but very homey.

I tried to study for the LSAT

but ended up falling asleep again. haha.

The good news about this day was that because of the stolen food, free samples and discipline on my part, I only spent 2.5 Lira that day. Which is has definitely not been the case for the last 5 weeks. But now that my budget is even smaller, I am taking extra money saving techniques.

FYI, we saw a shop in the bazar that apparently Obama endorses.

Naomi and I went back to get our bags and then waited at the train station for two hours.

We got silly with the dried fruit, or here, sun dried tomatoes

I said good-bye and met up with my new flat mate and we took a ferry to the Asian side. Crossing continents every other day has been very interesting.

Arriving to the apartment around 9 pm, I met my host and after checking some email, crashed on the bed I shared with Tehseen my flat mate. I was told that we would be going to fajr (4:30 am) at a nearby Masjid (here, Camii) and for breakfast at the park next to it the next day. I looked forward to it.

I'll tell you about that in my next post!

bye for now!

Recuperation and Thoughts

2009-06-07T12:39:00.000-07:00

The days quickly run into nights and nights slip into days and before I knew it, I found myself in the third week of my adventure in Turkey. The last two of those weeks have been extremely hectic as I traveled through the Anatolian side. I have faced two of my greatest fears- heights and tight spaces- by climbing to the top of a castle on a mountain and walking through an underground city. I have gotten to know several people on my trip very well by our conversations or by the sheer multitude of hours we have spent on the bus, in lectures, or in the hotels. Sometimes the clustering can be a tad overwhelming to my nerves, but I have cherished many moments, conversations and crazy thrills.

Worries and obligations felt before my trip have managed to stay back on their original hemisphere. My mind is clearer now but my focus has suffered. Now that I have returned to Istanbul for the remainder of my trip, I need to snap back into work mode. I dread doing so only because I am tired of work. Tired of classes, studying, working to pay for college, and keeping up with friends. I have been so tired this year that even contacting friends was stressful. Since I thought about withdrawing several times over the last year, perhaps I do need this vacation.

The setting is gorgeous and the people entertaining. A few days ago in the port city of Kusadasi I saw a sunset colored by the entire spectrum of roy g. biv. Scenes like this leave me completely floored. The company I keep are like icing on a delicious cake (fyi, I mean the awesome cool whip icing and not that thick icky stuff). They are funny, witty and adventurous.

Almost everywhere I go, I am asked if I am Muslim. The smiles they send my way when I reply yes are priceless. I have begun to no longer dread that question! The Turkish people's enthusiasm for a hijabi American Arab Muslim is the result of a people stuck in a state that undermines religious expression. Even though I am welcomed by almost every Turk I've met, I still would not be able to enter a public university with my headscarf on. Ironic isn't it?

I will be starting on my research this week, surveying hijabi Turkish woman's feelings towards their country's gendered politics. I probably won't rest until I've created an international scandal by trying to enter the university with my scarf on. Such is how I like to lead my life.

Turkey! Istanbul! Day one and two!!!

2009-05-16T12:36:00.000-07:00

Hello Friends, I am hijacking my poetry blog to update you all on my trip to Turkey. Hopefully, I will still be able to post some poems. I am going to be in Turkey for 8 weeks inshAllah doing a variety of research, internship, and following an Islamic heritage study abroad trip. InshAllah it will be a great trip!!!!

__ So,

I flew into Istanbul Friday morning. It's only Saturday night but it seems like a lifetime to me. The city truly is an enchanting beauty. So much that sometimes i forget that I've had a life before Turkey. My trip to Turkey last summer, though short, helped to heal many hurts that plagued my spirit and now it seems that Istanbul has lovingly claimed my heart.

After a 12 hour long plane ride (2 hours waiting on the JFK runway- no joke-), we made it to the hotel around 12 -ish. Omid (our professor) let us rest for two hours and then made us walk around the city so we wouldn't sleep until nighttime. We walked from the Lalale neighborhood where our hotel is to the Sultan Mehmed neighborhood where the Blue Mosque, Hagia Sophia and Grand Bazar are located. If you don't know how Grand the Bazar is, let me tell you, it's GRAND. It is either the biggest or second biggest concentration of shops in the world and can be seen from space. (ok, maybe that last part was a little exaggeration but i think its true). We had a great dinner and even stopped by a cafe for some sweet, delicious apple tea.

Today we walked even more. Walking from the hotel to Sultan Mehmed neighborhood is about a 25 minutes. Its a sweet, beautiful walk but can really add up. Just today I walked around 2 hours in total just going back and forth from the hotel. That doesn't include all the walking around in the actual neighborhood!

Tomorrow we are going on a tour of the Bosporus, my second greatest obsession with Istanbul. It should be amazing. I am really looking forward to it :)

the blue mosque, or the Sultan Mehmet Camii. magnificent,

a smaller masjid that was once a church and then converted to a masjid. it still has greek inscriptions. its super cute.

haikus with amy-aza

2009-04-11T12:00:00.000-07:00

Amy-Aza and I spent the day challenging each other with writing. I choose to respond in a series of haikus. The first word is the subject we gave each other:

pumpkin spice brings me
to a home i've
always dreamed about.

a skirt whipping in
the wind around my tall legs. i
am almost flying.

spring is bipolar
like me; a rainbow after
a sky full of rain.

listening when i
shouldn't. i need to know
so i can be in control.

books drop me in their
visions, trap my emotions
so i feel again.

writing is what i
cannot describe. it
is to be alive

facing fears in the
faces of men whose eyes haunt
my heart that they cut.

three poems went beyond the haiku form:

arabic music beats up-down
singing to my soul
but i'm scared to reopen those memories
i have stored.

----
to a friend who admires my independence,
i shrug and say its what i must do to live.
free from parents, slave to a job.
my friend, you will be disappointed
when you gain independence in the end.
but for now i will keep silent
and let you dream.

-----
my friend tried to wear a scarf yesterday.
she asked me how i could handle all the stares.
"oh," i replied, dumbfounded,
"i thought they were amazed looking at my pretty eyes."

when left alone in my thoughts

2009-02-01T06:27:00.000-08:00

written as I sat eating breakfast in comfortable solitary at ye olde:

there is no problem when i dig deep into your words;
it is easy to focus my work into
intricate organized charts of thought.

but the rub is when i pause for breath,
for my mind wanders into weary indecision,
endless queries of my emotions; my purpose seems aimless
making me question whether i should chart my future this way,
after all, i'm only in younger stages of life.

tears well enough to bring my hands to brush them aside
in a childly frustrated manner;
i regress back to those speechless days when my parents
would tire guessing my wants and needs;
i am at loss for words.

if only i could trace back to my fixated trance,
taking advantage of my mania boundless energy.
i blink in hopes that if i close my eyes i will
go back home to nestle in the cushier parts of my brain
wrapped in a novel reading the story of my life.

it is a mystery book and i grasp at the ends of each chapter
with a cliff-hanger so brutal i do not know how i can stand it.
i settle in for the long haul, pacified, to slowly discover
the twists and turns; if only i could put the story away for a while

if you find me stuck in possibilities,
take my chin and guide my eyes to the setting of the day
and i will find my work ready to be written,
just as soon as i finish this poem.

bipolar is a

2009-01-31T13:21:00.000-08:00

trampoline
plunging low,
pushing elastic,
to its sharpest stretch,
suddenly
soaring so far
within clouds
breathing sunshine.
but medication is
bungee jumping,
being pulling back from
splattered on split asphalt,
swinging back up
past average splendor
but smack against
the bridge i had just
fallen from.

too fast.
can't breathe.

my dream

2009-01-19T21:25:00.000-08:00

this poem retells a vision i had awhile back. it frightened me for many months, and still frightens me to this day.

streams of purple and gold pervade a dark screen.
she existed at first.
her presence in the scenery flickers in and out.
gliding through a royal fog,
movement was effortless.

it was her. her life.
she wandered aimlessly but somehow always progressing, moving on.
it was her. her life.

like a clawed betrayal loneliness attacked her from nowhere,
it tore at her heart,
it stayed elusive to her eyes.

the invisible strikes evolved into a constant despair that trailed throughout time.
tears began to trail down her ethereal face,
for the hope in her heart failed to plug the flood of pain.

unbeknownst to her the actual structure of a heart,
she could feel what was once surely well protected layers erode
until the last steel layer was all that was left to hold the worn threadbare strips of her soul together.

at the end she stood,
amazed by the incredible force of loneliness that had accosted her in her path.
that last layer of steel that had kept her firmly standing.
a hope some might say,

but it was only

her refusal to submit.

the epiphany sprung in her mind. was this strength?

Fairy Tale Lake

2009-01-18T23:55:00.000-08:00

*This poem may seem long to some of you, but it is a styled poem called a 'sestina.'*

For my sisters: Aishah, Lema and Batoul:

again i find myself in disbelief when i see your bright smiling face
wrinkle in laughter at the smallest things, the ducks swimming in the lake,
running in circles—whoever reaches the bread i threw first is the winner—
we have been at this for hours, three loafs used, and i cannot make you stop,
i only pity the ducks, their stomachs must be full, and already some are sleeping
by the edge of the lake, in the shade of the blossoming trees.

perhaps you have grown tired—no—there you go around the thicket of trees
maybe i should call you back but i can see the mystery on your face
as you discover where your hungry friends have gone, sleeping,
and you cannot understand why they are not playing in the lake
for you would have the day go one forever, a game that never had to stop,
a game that which you, of course, would always be the winner.

but then ever since you were born and won my heart, you have been the winner
one that never tires, for now you have run to the ducks under the trees
shouting and screaming, making yourself heard, and before I can stop
you a duck has waken, rumbling its feathers and washing its face,
you have disrupted its sleep, it quacks angrily and swims off in the lake.
it seems to me that once i was that duck that was calmly sleeping

i wonder how these maternal feelings have arisen, waiting to be woken from sleeping,
as you, not my daughter, and me to young for motherhood, you seem to be the winner
in the race to win my heart, for it is all yours. i spot you now gazing secretly at the lake
i know better than that. i know why you hide behind the sheltering trees
no jumping in the lake i say, and almost regret it when i see your gloomy face
but it’s not enough and somewhere down the line of being older i have to say stop

i point to the sun setting in the lake and show you why it’s time to stop
when the sky gets dark the good little children know its time to be sleeping,
and what are you i ask? hearing no answer and glancing at your weary face,
i gather you in my arms and magically you doze off—who was the winner
you manage to mumble. smiling, i hurriedly walk by the darkening trees
we are—i whisper and sneak a last glance at the sparkling, golden lake

i remind myself to come back sometime for it is indeed a beautiful lake
perhaps we have stayed out to late, but it was so much fun I couldn’t stop.
we ran through the forest walkway, even climbed a couple trees
so i’m not surprised that you’re so tired, in fact i’m quite happy you’re sleeping
because you’re such a bad loser, every time we raced I let you be the winner,
but it felt good when you discovered who won, I saw a thrilled, excited face

a face that is hard to disappoint, one that pushes away my questions and need to say stop
and it turned out fun, besides the fact that it literally put you to sleep;
winners need their rest, even if it means leaving the magical lake and its everlasting trees

A Poem for Innocents

2009-01-14T18:55:00.000-08:00

Imagine:

behind a wall a dead child lays limp as the mother shows her dead son's face
look, she cries, at what your people have done.
but from the other side of the wall her cry was quickly silenced by
the wails of a dead girl's mother who pointed to the child's bullet ridden body
look, she cries, at what your people have done.

i stayed back watching the commotion and hoped that no more would we suffer innocent death
once we united for our existence.

But look at what your people have done became the cry that resounded
off the black sky and entered the heavens.
CAN YOU NOT HEAR IT?

i cannot contain all the screams i hear tonight as red blood sizzles with blue green earth,
steadily turning into a tilled brown, as blood and innocent flesh become the soul of this earth.

The desperate plea look at what your people have done echoes above me,
deep where night extends beyond our eyes and God sends down a sigh that sweeps past my ears,
look at what my creations have done.

He sighs at the FREE WILL he bestowed upon us.
And what will you do with your FREE WILL?

Will you listen?
Will you act?
Will you at least cry for the children of broken homes, broken bones?
Will you ease their pain over their mothers' death?
When they cannot see a way to create a future out of rubble, will you build for them new dreams?

i can hardly stay sane as I listen to all the screams I hear tonight.
And when you hear the cry that pierces the night sky and enters the heavens,
Will you listen?
What will you do with your FREE WILL?

a new year

2009-01-01T11:44:00.001-08:00

this new year

i woke dreaming the
same dreams of yesteryear but,
with a new spirit.

metamorphosis

2008-12-30T08:27:00.000-08:00

in memory of the innocent civilians dying in Gaza right now. may we find the strength to help them.

metamorphosis

she saw the explosion that sprayed her brother's blood on the school fence.

because they were walking to school.

burgundy pools swirl around her feet
as terror takes over her mind and shivers down her spine.

she heard the school windows shatter and mercilessly fall upon him,
creating magenta honeycombs in his back.

there is acid in her throat.
burned flesh pervades.
tears burn her cheeks.

belated sirens sound in the air causing consternated uniforms running about.
blooding desire moves through her veins.

nightmares play on the glittering broken glass.
there is more to come.

and this scene of butchered innocence will twist her soul forever.

for your love

2008-12-27T22:03:00.000-08:00

this is a pseudo-sonnet because four lines are off. i wrote it coming back from Istanbul this summer, where I was heavily influenced by so many great poets there. this poem pays homage to those many sufi love stories.

for your love

let me but take your eyes into my own,
and guide them through the linings of my heart.
you could see that my love for you is known
to have no beginning or end apart.

you are my heart that every moment aches
when your distance lessens the blood in my veins
and the gasp of a collapsing lung takes
all the air that remains to breathe your name

instinctively as my heart and mind merge
and i learn how only after pain and
suffering can our beauty emerge.
for our life and love you must understand

that when you come back to me complete,
the heart of the lover and beloved will finally beat

creation

2008-12-27T19:17:00.000-08:00

*this i poem i wrote in response to those who always find themselves saying 'cannot'*
i hope you enjoy

creation

when darkness attacks
we do not cower
from losses of light.

lack of sight exhibits our
unsettling confusion
in solitary where

minds lack thoughts,
sensible souls surrender
if no breath of ideas
feed their heart.

we only know lined images
already drawn,
with colors waiting their
assigned fill,

and impossibllity
defines other.

we fear too much
the untouched snow
and untrodden sand
so we leave unknowns
creating the dunes of earth
and the icemen of time.

I welcome you to read my musings

2008-12-24T13:33:00.000-08:00

however,

do not confuse
my penned words
as written poems.

they are:

sneezed
sprinkles,
spraying

thoughts.

thank you for choosing to spend your time reading my humble words.
i hope enjoy your time here.